Be A Man, Do The Right Thing
Russell Peters is coming to Singapore! He'll be here on 3rd and 4th November, and tickets are just FUCKING expensive. I'm not sure I want to spend $79 to see a dot moving around. I'm not sure I want to spend $149 to stare up his nostrils. I think maybe the DVD would be a lot more enjoyable.
The reason why that line is so hilarious is because I'm Chinese, most of the people I know are Chinese, and I've never, ever heard anyone say that without it being a Russell Peters reference. I've no idea where he got that from. I know the Cantonese don't have a line like that. And the Hokkiens are more likely to ask if you've got testicles ("Boh zi si boh?! Kan ni nao eah..."). The Mandarin version, well, I guess there is a song, sort of, that goes something like "Be a good tough guy, everyday must be strong." (What? You so kiang you translate that stupid song lah. "Zhuo yi ge hao han zi, mei tian yao zi qiang") But it's not quite right.
Speaking of Chinese men, I was incredibly disturbed by an episode of this Taiwanese talkshow that I occasionally watch. The topic was, "When the wife controls the money: benefit or bane?" There were two couples on the talkshow, the guys being the celebs, the wives being the CFOs of the household. At the end of the show, I've come to the conclusion that Taiwanese men are wimps.
Hey, don't blame me man. Maybe you guys should check the content of your talkshows before you broadcast them all over Asia.
Apparently in Taiwan, it's common for the wife to control the bank accounts. The husbands work, then meekly hand over all the money to their wives, who then give them an allowance. AN ALLOWANCE LEH!!! What are you, in primary school?! Anyway, the rationale to this system is that the men have a tendency to spend on stupid things or lend their friends money when they can't really spare it, and more importantly, men can't exactly cheat on their wives if they don't have enough money.
I tell you, it's a Chinese thing. Somehow EVerything comes back to money.
Although it does make sense, in a way. He can't exactly buy his way into another woman's panties, with upfront cash or expensive presents, if all he has is $500 a month. Ok, that's in Singapore dollars, it sounds a little less sad in Taiwanese money, $10,000, but it translates to the same, because a pair of S$17 shoes costs NT$390 over there.
But at the end of the day, and I'm surprised the hosts didn't ask this question, do they still feel like men? Do their wives look down on them? Do they secretly wish being banged into the kitchen table by some macho macho man who'd smack them if they even dared ask to look at the bank book?
It's bloody emasculating. Not only do they work their asses off to make that money, but they have to ask permission from their wives to access it? What is that? I thought the Guo Min Dang were the guys who went to Taiwan. This smacks a little to much of Stalin's revised system. Work your little peasanty hearts out, give us all your crops, and maybe we'll give you two potatoes in return. You're his wife, not his mother.
To be honest, I'd much rather my future husband have money and run the risk of him splashing it on some family wrecking slut, than take it all away from him and wimpify him. At least in scenario one I have the chance to play the wronged housewife, down to the cock-chopping revenge therapy part. Scenario two just leads to many many painful marriage counselling sessions.
The most disturbing thing was, one of the wives kept going on and on about how her husband was a failure at managing money, always buying stupid things and lending his friends large sums of it. Which would have been fine if she just stopped there. Then she went on to say that at least she spends money "correctly", by buying things that are of better quality, such as branded bags which she carries just to make her husband the celeb look good. Best part is, she lies to her husband about how much a bag costs, so Chanel suddenly got downgraded to $400 rather than $4000. And she kept on whining and whining about how unromantic her husband was since he didn't buy her Valentine's Day presents and all she got was four Ferrero Rochers.
Look woman. You give him $500 a month. What the fuck do you expect him to buy for you? On that $500, he scrimps and saves to have a little horde, which you seem sooooo intent on finding and confiscating (she did that TWICE). Once he bought you a ring. Granted it was this super obiang gigantic black pearl ring that was so big it slips off your thumb, but hey, would it hurt to give him some encouragement? Instead she was on that show, telling the whole world about how useless her husband is. Gooooood work. Besides, it's not your fucking money to begin with, is it? It doesn't matter that he has no taste; you're buying your own goddamn Chanel bags and LV shoes with his money anyway.
No, I don't think these women are justified in treating their husbands this way. You didn't work for that money, so you don't have to right to keep all of it. If your husband insists on buying truly useless things (like pieces of wood from some old train track or some truly ugly furniture), the issue is the lack of communication, not that he has too much money. He feels the need to sneak behind your back to buy that crap the same way you feel the need to buy branded bags and hide them in your closet and not take them out till later. Because both of you have gotten so touchy about money that it's stopped behind just a simple representation of the things you can have but a thing of power.
Money is nothing. It's just a social construct we developed because toting around cattle for trade was just too cumbersome. It's just printed paper, that's all. Sure, it's important, but we sometimes go overboard and place waaaay too much importance on it.
All I know is, if I were a man, and I earned all the money for the household, I'm keeping control of it. Do the right thing.
